So, there were many things I could have done differently. I could have gone on a cruise and forgot about stealing a killer box from a Vampire King. I could have shaved my head and become a Tibetan monk. I could have also lost my virginity to some nice Texas cowboy who wanted to introduce me to his mother. But instead, I went to Germany and ended up fighting Mercenaries. I also fell in love with a Vampire King who claimed me as his. And now I'm in the river, and all because I decided not to just stay home and do my laundry. No instead... I shot a pilot.