Traumatic conflict, abuse and violence within a marriage affect the children negatively. These children may develop signs associated with PTSD and maladjusted behavior in their adulthood. This pastoral care study is an investigation into the effects of marital conflict and abuse of children. The researcher is a child who grew up in an environment of traumatic conflict and abuse within the marriage of his parents. He now ministers in the Methodist Church of Southern Africa. In his pastoral care ministry, he encounters people who go through the devastation of traumatic abuse and violence in their own marriages. As a caregiver, he struggles to minister effectively to such people because he finds himself being traumatized again by his past, as well as their experiences.This study offers a pastoral care method for use by ministers who encounter people who had been exposed to violence and conflict while growing up.