"The ultimate heat death of a cold and infinite universe, where all love perishes and nobody would ever, ever love me, opened its mouth and swallowed me whole." A morbidly obese YouTuber and his anonymous Twitter nemesis. A young woman's desperate attempt to find an apartment in London. A Chinese dumpling shop with a disturbing secret. Unsqualified Preservations is a short story collection sitting at the intersection of sexual dysfunction and social anomie. In his literary debut, Mencius Moldbugman guides the reader through a morbid tableau of professional lolcows, loveless women, and workplace humiliation, shining a light on the very real horrors that many of us have come to know.