This book is a sweary account of after-life marital arguments with my late husband and his negotiations with me to re-engage with community. And that of my counselling experience, assessing my progress in this grief journey over four years after his death. My complicated grief, my upset and my life experiences of family grief and loss. It is clear I am angry as f**k that he died and that this grief journey is a hard one, but I find several ways of dealing with living with it, sometimes without resources or support and find my own way to getting through the first four years including poetry, writing this book, a rock choir, reiki, and all the get-up - fall downs along the way. There is more to come- but this is the first. Please be warned that there is an extreme amount of swearing in this book, and most expletives are said inside my head, and thankfully not at other people, but I am stating now that if this is something you cannot bear, please forgive me, I have told my utmost truth and am authentic in each and every moment. - This book is published on 12th Dec 2022, the anniversary of my husbands' death on Dec 12th 2017, and is my homage to him and his requirements that I keep on going, and I am, and I will.
