Perfect for linguaphiles and lovers of quotes, Ifferisms is a lively compendium of wit, wisdom, and wordplay from Dr. Mardy Grothe, author of I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, Viva La Repartee, and Oxymoronica. A collection of aphorisms-pithy observations and timeless proverbs that communicate some kind of truth about the human experience-Ifferisms contains those that begin with "if." From "If life hands you lemons, make lemonade" to "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," the sayings in Ifferisms demonstrate how hypothetical thinking helps people contemplate their lives.

This one-of-a-kind collection of "ifferisms" explores:

• Classic Sayings: Discover the surprising origins of phrases like "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" and Murphy's Law: "If anything can go wrong, it will."
• Wit and Wordplay: Enjoy a treasure trove of humorous quotes and clever observations from literary giants like Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, and George Bernard Shaw.
• Hypothetical Thinking: Explore how the simple two-letter word, "if," opens up a world of thought experiments, from the profound to the playful.
• Words to Live By: Find inspiration and timeless wisdom in ifferisms that touch on everything from love and marriage to politics and the human condition.

If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.

If you can't be kind, at least be vague.

An aphorism is a pithy observation that attempts to communicate a truth about the human experience, often with a dash of wit. History's greatest thinkers and writers have viewed the aphorism as a potent tool, and it is remarkable how many of their most memorable observations have been introduced with the biggest little word in the human language: If. These ifferisms, as they have been dubbed by quotation anthologist Dr. Mardy Grothe, demonstrate the powerful role that hypothetical and conditional thinking play in our lives.

This novel compendium of wisdom, wit, and wordplay presents nearly two thousand quotations that all begin with the word if. Alongside history's most famous sayings, readers will find—and often learn the fascinating story behind—such modern classics as "If you build it, they will come" and "If anything can go wrong, it will." In chapters on sex, love, sports, politics, advice, gender dynamics, and more, quotation lovers will savor scintillating observations from the usual suspects—Twain, Wilde, Shaw, Emerson, and Franklin—as well as scores of contemporary wits and wordsmiths.